I just went outside to smoke (I know, spare me) and while I was sitting in the courtyard I saw something mildly disturbing: New leaves on trees.

Are you kidding me? I looked closer and all of the trees definitely have buds on them.

Terrific. When the fuck is it going to snow like we all know it's supposed to so I can go sledding? What the hell is this crap?

Seriously, winter, we get it. You're so funny. Now, do what you're supposed to and make it cold so we're not overrun with bugs and stuff and give us at least one good late frost so we'll have really good maple syrup. Quit sucking. Kapow!*

*That's me, cracking my whip.